The Eternal Wait
After you answer the last few questions during your MCAT, affirm your identity and ask to score your MCAT, you are overwhelmed with a sense of relief. For me, it felt a little surreal. The task to which I was working toward for the last two and a half months – not counting the last three years of undergrad – was now officially over. Now what? Well, I went home, had lunch, and cleaned my room. After that though, I was plagued with doubts and indecision.
Should I assume that my result would be what I want or should I continue studying? This is a huge question because from the time you take the exam to the time you get your score a month goes by. A month with no studying and you forget a lot and if you have to retake you may be starting from practically square zero. Also, for me, I was already taking it much later than my peers. I took my exam in July, my scores would be out in August, and with school starting in September, I would not have much time to study. Plus, I was going on vacation for two weeks right after I get my results so this only compounded my worry about what to do.
The other worry was what I would do if I did have to retake the MCAT. I had exhausted a lot of the study materials including the AMC exams, Kaplan tests, Princeton books, ExamKrackers verbal book and other materials. I was at a crossroads but I decided to just wait. To be honest, a part of me just wanted a break and I had some research stuff to do so I focused on that. It was a nice break because it was something other than science.
However, the wait itself felt endless. I started thinking of all the questions I got wrong and things I might have screwed up. This then led to me having nightmares about doing terribly and I lost my anxiety of knowing my score. Instead, now I felt confident that I had done poorly so there was no point in knowing my score. As August arrived, I felt like every day was the day my score would be released. I thought it would be released on August 2nd and so I checked at 2 am in the morning to get away from the prying eyes of my family but it wasn’t up. However, during those 2 interminable minutes of waiting for the page to load, my heart was beating too rapidly.
I think this scare kind of calmed me down because the day my scores arrived I was a little more settled. Granted, I was still checking to see if my score was up every half an hour. And when it came, I was relieved because it was much better than I expected and now I really could breathe a true sigh of relief…or maybe not because now I had to work on my AMCAS.
- Sakeena Fatima, 2014