A Most Hated Profession
Oct 31 2009Many people hate their profession. It’s a common theme among the work force here in America and probably around the world. This is all well and good, but it is the societal norm. So, who cares? I’m not going to waste my time talking about that because everyone already knows and experiences it on a daily basis. Let’s switch our thinking around on this one. What actual profession is hated by other people?
Let’s backtrack for a second here. The other day, I parked my car outside of my apartment. It was past six o’clock, so I didn’t need to feed the parking meter. I have an early class at an off campus location, so I have to leave in the morning before the meter maids come. Of course, the meter maids always come at different times. It’s almost like a game of chicken. How late can I sleep in and still avoid the parking ticket? A game, yes, but a dangerous one.
Last Wednesday, I lost this game. I walked out of my apartment as that devilish white car, marked “Parking Authority”, pulled up to my lonely black Alero. I already knew it was too late. Running over there and trying to reason with her would do me no good because we all know that meter maids have no souls. There is no reasoning with them!
I let her write the ticket without saying a word to her. I didn’t want a lecture on how I needed to put quarters in the big grey machine. I pulled it off of my car and drove to class, wondering why anyone would ever want to be a meter maid. Do kids grow up and say to themselves, “What is the job where I would get the most opportunities to piss people off, with no possibility of repercussions to me?” No, I don’t think so. Someone has to do this job, though.
I’ve always wanted to get a job interview for a meter maid position, just to see what it would be like. Do they make you torture small babies or kill kittens? Or do they simply ask you questions to determine whether or not you would be a fan of Adolf Hitler on facebook? I can’t be entirely sure, but I assume the interview would involve something like one of those two things.
My roommates and I have pondered for a long about a way that we could get back at meter maids. We haven’t really come up with anything (that is, anything that is legal), but we have developed a defense against them. In a complicated world, sometimes less is more. Elaborate schemes don’t usually work, so we thought, “why not keep it simple?” Thats what we do.
In order for this plan to work, you do need to get a parking ticket. Yes, I know, you don’t want to do that, but if you’re going to get one at some point you might as well give it a shot. Whenever you park, don’t put change in the meter. Just grab that old ticket and place it on your windshield. Sounds like it won’t work, right? Well, my roommates and I have done this easily 20 times and only got an additional ticket once (Scroggs got greedy and tried to make it two days in spot… ) I’ve seen it in action. I have sat and watched meter maids drive up to my car, stop for a second, and then drive right past. They are too lazy to get out of the car and check the ticket.
I can honestly say that watching that happen is one of the most beautiful things on Earth. You have no chance of ever getting back at these people. They’re almost untouchable. All you can do is use their own laziness to your advantage.
They may never know that they are being bested, but I do. Every time I walk out to my car and I don’t have a ticket, I smile a little bit on the inside. You can never win the war against the meter maid, but you can win some battles.
Screw you meter maids.
Tags: meter maid, parking ticket
November 13th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Funny article. Good, you didn’t argue with the meter maid. I learned this the hard way after a class in State Hall a few years ago. I estimated just enough time for me to make it back to the car after class. Class ended on time, but as I approached my car I was terrified to see a white car parked next to it! Now I strongly suspected she must have checked the time remaining and waited for it to expire, as I arrived at the car around the very minute I calculated it was to expire. I attempted to reason with her but I was immediately shot down. So I thought, fine, I am not going to let her place the ticket on my car. Apparently, she had just begun to write the ticket so I jumped in the car and drove off! I tried hard to generate as much smoke as possible, to discourage her from finishing and I disappeared. I felt great that I had ’sacked it’ to the meter woman. However, that feeling didn’t live for very long-within a few days my lovely ticket arrived in the mail! I was pissed off, because by then it was too late to pay the discounted price of $10 instead of $20! Those damn meter maids!
November 13th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I think that everyone who has been in that situation feels as helpless as we did. All you can really do is take your slap on the wrist and pay the fine… Maybe one day we will live in a world where meter maids don’t have absolute power!